Ten Things You Need To Know Before You Get a Golden Retriever - From Someone Who Has (and LOVES) the Breed
Updated: Sep 8
So you want a Golden Retriever. Good for you! Yes, you can prepare by reading books, but there are some things I am sure you won't see coming. Trust me; I grew up with the breed, and then my family got the second one during COVID - I like to say that Marci is a COVID baby, and I can see that in every single fiber of his being..
Let me introduce Him to you. - This is Marci:
Although Marci has a great personality and an ever greater, gigantic heart, he is also completely aware he runs the universe. He's handsome. He's beautiful. He's (the most) popular guy everywhere. Everyone loves him. People check him out in the streets. People ask me whether they could befriend him. He's basically the captain of the high school football team who, by accident, is also the most beautiful thing you've ever rested your eyes upon.
He's all that, and he knows it.
That said, make no mistake, Marci is also a person. Here she goes again - the sceptics will think - another dog owner who thinks her dog is a human. But raise a Golden Retriever and tell me they're not a human (inside). Do it, and we'll talk then.
In celebration of Marci - and as an act of educating those thinking about getting the breed - here are the top 10 things I've learned from him that I did not expect:
1.) Extremely Emotional(ly Intelligent) But Also A Diva
Golden Retrievers are incredibly popular due to their benign and kind nature. Fair. There is, however, another side to being so benign and kind. They have mood swings and hence different days - just like humans - you may not have control over. Although they do need exercise (at varying levels), they need love and attention far more. A Golden Retriever is not a houseplant; they cannot run on mere physical needs. If you don't cuddle them, talk to them, sit with them (daily), they will get depressed. And just as toddlers, they will not hide their feelings. If you go on vacation (without them), they will not like that. You also shouldn't get a Golden Retriever if you are not a cuddly person. Cause they are. You need to invest real emotional work into your dog. Occasionally, when I watch him over - when his true parents (my parents) go on vacation - nothing can help his depression. He's great at making me feel guilty. To be fair, Marci believes I should cuddle him full time and not work, but unfortunately, I have a job to attend to. Lucky him, though, I work from home and hence still cuddle him in every single break. (Not enough! Marci would say.)
If you are sick, they will know it and will rest with you and will not leave your side. They know it, they understand it, and nothing can break their empathy. They will be there for you even if you are the shittiest person in the universe.
On the flip side, however, you can hurt their feelings, they can absolutely get mad at you, and you can get in an argument where chances are high you will be the one having to say sorry. I know it's probably hard to imagine it...so here is a reoccurring example:
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I like walking Marci in my breaks. This, however, often means I have to be back by my next lesson - and if I am impatient and drag the leash, he gets upset with me, sits down, and refuses to move anywhere. That can be an issue, for Marci is constantly bordering on 38 kg (he's a big dog). So, there's no chance I could lift him up. The conflict needs to be resolved right there and usually asap. If he's really cross with me, he wouldn't even take the treats from my palms, which shows MUCH resentment because...
2.) ...Oh The Craving they (Can) Have!
I would say it is not widely talked about how food-obsessed Golden Retrievers (also) can be. Marci has a heightened level of obsession with (all) girl dogs, and has the very bad habit of keeping many girlfriends parallel. He loves all his girlfriends, but something that he's even more obsessed with is food. He would queue. He would drool like crazy. When he's so damn craving food, it's hard to resist him and not share food with him - and then, it's hard to keep him in good shape. (They, too, are slaves of genetics, and therefore some of them gain weight more easily - like Marci.)
3.) Community Souls!
It might be that Marci - as I mentioned - was a 'COVID Baby' and therefore thinks everyone should be at home at all times (he arrived in a COVID household where everyone was trying to find entertainment, which often turned out to be spending time with Marci). Nothing under the number of three people suffices for him, and the most chaotic family occasions are the ones that make him shine the most. If you give him two or fewer people, the quiet will distress him. What I'm trying to say is that it is ABSOLUTELY true that Golden Retrievers are community dogs and do wonders for families, gatherings, etc... But something that's not often discussed is that it's usually also their need to be part of a social life. (I have this feeling that Golden Retrievers tend to be more on the extroverted scale. See the next point.)
4.) (Higher) Levels of Extroversion!
Legend has it Marci wasn't chosen by us; he chose my mother. When she went to pick a puppy, Marci was the only one awake and ran to her - and the rest is history.
'Are you sure you want this one?' the sweet breeders asked her, 'Because we call this one the Activator; he is VERY interested in EVERYTHING.'
'Yes.' My mother was determined (and she was right, as mothers always are).
But it is true, Marci is a VERY extroverted and active dog. You need to keep in mind that not all Golden Retrievers are as shy and restful as the ones often displayed in social media. Marci would walk to you and put his paws on you and follow you sometimes for an hour and talk to you in his dog language. He has far more sounds than barking. I'm convinced that he is telling me a lot of things in his language. I'm suspicious he's telling me everything in his language. And if you don't interact with him until he's done... Back to square one. You would hurt his feelings. I will be forever and ever fascinated by his inner life.
5.) ...They would Steal Everything Cause they're Untreated Kleptomaniacs...
I've read somewhere that Golden Retrievers love carrying your clothes and unpacking your laundry basket because they love your scent. I'm sure there is truth in that, but Marci steals absolutely everything, not just clothes, not even just things we've touched. I think there are many reasons for this: channelling all those big feelings (happiness, annoyance), but also sometimes simply just wanting attention and being chased. And as Golden Retrievers are super smart, they have good analytical skills and somehow, in a magical way, know what object they need to run away with in order for you to truly chase them. When Marci's around the house, the space looks different - objects are put at weird heights and places just to be saved from this furry kleptomaniac.
6.) STUBBORNNESS!
Marci is incredibly stubborn and has selective hearing. Meaning: he understands things completely but hears you only when it's convenient to him. I, personally, find this absolutely hilarious. Marci can hear absolutely anything, but will only take orders if it suits him (or you sound very assertive - but the thing is that family members will sound assertive at different levels). Luckily for him, his parents (still my parents) are on the gentler side.
7.) Vocabulary Skills!
We have a Hungarian word for 'cat' that is a diminutive, 'cutesy' version. We say 'cica'. It might be the unique sound, but this is an expression we had to exclude from our conversations altogether because at one point, whenever Marci heard it, he bolted out and kept looking for the cat. Most of the time, there was no cat around, and we mentioned one only by accident. Hence, we stopped using the word altogether. Don't underestimate your Golden Retriever. (And one interesting note: I've also read online that dogs don't learn words; they learn the intonation you use them with. I don't think this is true. For a while, Marci only spoke Hungarian, but now he understands English commands as well. I trained him; he is my ESL Baby.:))
8.) They will Choose their Gang!
While they are an incredibly benign, sweet, social, and emotionally deep breed, contrary to common belief, they will not get on well with everyone out there. They will sort people into one of the following categories (or, at least, Marci does - and once I accepted exactly thanks to Marci that he is a sovereign personality, and therefore probably all dogs are, I've grown to accept it in general as well):
a) he is OBSESSED with the person (=Marci-approved and loved)
b) the person is OK (=he doesn't love, or doesn't hate them, but he still loves being pet for a few seconds)
c) NOT A FAN (=he strolls away from the person in a quiet, protesting way)
d) CAN'T STAND (=he would actively bark at the person and possibly jump backwards (Marci has got a big mouth and big voice and also, a big ego, but let's be honest, he isn't the bravest of all; he runs on beauty and a great personality and
NOT on courage.))
9.) Shockingly and Instinctively Gentle with Kids, Especially Toddlers to a Level that Shows Built-in Autopilot
Toddlers love Golden Retrievers. The first time a parent asked me whether their kid could pet Marci, I was worried he would jump on them (as he is a big boy). He didn't need any directing, though; I only asked him to sit down. And he did it without a sound and grew incredibly slow and still and let the toddler tap his fur. Marci tends to have upbeat, anxious energy, but in that moment, he turned into his calm, stoic self. And he smiled and waited patiently. Even when kids touched his ears. It was truly incredible. He understood it immediately that it was a little and fragile human being and that his role was to comfort them. And he did it flawlessly; it even made him happy. I do think this is a breed trait, and now I understand why they are the best therapy dogs. Since then, we've accommodated a lot of toddlers with great love and confidence.
With that being said:
10.) They Can Get Into a Fight if they Want To
Don't think your Golden Retriever will never fight, because they definitely will. Even if you don't have a crazy Golden Retriever (chances are you don't and never will), the world is crazy enough. So, fights will happen occasionally, either by choice or by defence. Marci has his nemeses - for whatever reason - and then he would ride...sorry...run into battle if we let him. We try not to let him. I think often, it's on his big ego and big voice; when he means it (rarely, though), the animal comes out of him. It feels (and looks) purely instinctive, the same way love does. I guess when he hates someone, he just can't help it. He certainly chooses oddly and has far more friends than nemeses, but he does have those too, and I want to be clear about that.
Well this is all. But I compiled a few extra thoughts as well:
BONUS POINTS:
Is it hard work to raise a Golden Retriever? Yes - if you mean to do a good (and emotionally invested) job. And you SHOULD do a good (and emotionally invested) job. You should only do it if you can do a good job.
But is it worth it? 100% yes. Sometimes I think Golden Retrievers (and dogs) are the only things in this universe that actually make sense. The more I think about this, the more certain I get.
Please do not get you Golden Retriever from eBay or other incredibly suspicious sources. Make sure you get them from a conscientious, certified breeder. And if they are slightly out of your price range (for Golden Retrievers can indeed be on the pricier side), keep in mind that there are many Golden Retriever rescue charities, and animal shelters fostering Golden Retrievers as well. There are many beautiful Golden Retriever Souls waiting for their forever family.
Marci came from the ABSOLUTELY fabulous Union Jack Golden Retriever Kennel. You can find them here: https://retrievers.hu/
And keep in mind! While there are (many) traits these beautiful souls share (for example the gentleness, love of humans, etc...), they still are PERSONALITIES and would therefore exhibit these traits at varying levels. Bori, the girl Golden Retriever we'd had before Marci, was, for example, an amazon and exhibited many completely different traits: independence, courage, speed and so on (besides the very typical Golden Retriever traits of kindness and gentleness as well). The number one thing to keep in mind is that you need to see what person your Golden Retriever grows into. Good, heartfelt breeders can help you predict some of these things even at a puppy age. So ask, and listen. Marci, for example, could be too much for one person but is perfect for a family - and our breeders made this very clear. Marci is an extreme case of curiosity, activity, and interaction, and that's how we love him.
Main takeaway: ALWAYS expect the stubbornness from Golden Retrievers. That won't go anywhere.
This is all for today!:)
Talk to you soon!:)
With Love,
The Fearless Frock
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